Engagement Dread: It’s Not Your Fault (But It Kinda Is?)

And all you can hear is this: Cha-frickin’-ching!

At first, it's exhilarating — the likes, the comments, the shares! Oh my! You don't know what to do with yourself. Should you call Mom and tell her, “I’ve finally made it!”? Heck, why not.

Your notification screen seems to never pause. The comments stack up. It's apparent that you're never going to be able to answer all these people, their questions, their interests. Money is slipping through your fingers.

Take J., a personal bud and budding artist who drew a playful sketch of her cat, Meep. It unexpectedly captured the hearts of many fellow feline aficionados and then…

"Want me to draw your kitty? I'm taking requests for commissions today!!!" she wrote.

(Uh oh. Already see where this is going?)

Initially, J. was obviously thrilled. Her follower count skyrocketed. Her inbox was filled with “opportunities.” But the sheer volume of comments quickly became massively overwhelming. J. found herself spending hours responding to messages, leaving little time for her art or herself or even poor Meep. By the time she got around to messaging the 800th person, folks started ignoring her, forgetting why she was even reaching out.

Joy soon became… something else.

Something far… less joyous.

The next time J. posted, she described it as “a pang.”

What if it all went off the rails again?

(And isn't that the way of the Internet; one day you're stenciling out a picture of your overweight feline and the next you're swimming in your 15 minutes of fame trying your best to "make hay while the sun shines" deep into the wee hours of the morning).

We even drew this little chart for you to show you want we mean:

So, how can you keep yourself at high happiness with increasing comments and make this chart into something less parabolic?

Read on, my friend.

It starts with understanding that your audience, by nature, is truly unrealistic.

Great Expectations: Your New Audience

What exactly do these newly minted fans expect from you, Mr./Mrs. Overnight Sensation? Buckle up, because it's a lot.

1. Insta-Gratification

In the age of Amazon Prime, UberEats, and Venmo, people are used to getting what they want, when they want it (and that is usually now). And when it comes to social media, that means near-instant responses to their comments and DMs.

A study by Sprout Social found that 40% of social media users expect a response from brands within the first HOUR of reaching out on social media. (That is some serious entitlement.)

For creators, the expectations are even higher. Your new fans feel a personal connection to you, and they crave that immediacy of interaction.

2. 24/7 Engagement

Oh ho ho! You thought it was just one date and you’re done.

No. Your viral post was just the beginning! Now, your audience expects you to keep the good times rolling with a steady stream of equally engaging content. And because they hate change, you’d better get comfortable playing variants of your viral hit.

According to one survey by Mavrck, 52% of creators feel pressure to constantly produce new content to maintain their audience's attention. It's a never-ending StairMaster of ideation, creation, promotion, engagement. And if you dare to take a break? Your engagement will start to dip, and the algorithm gods will frown upon you. “Bad!” they say. 

Lightning bolt emojis everywhere.

3. ‘Personal’ Connection

They feel invested in you and your journey.

And with that extra investment comes extra expectation — the need for some semblance of personal connection.

They want to know what you're up to, how you're feeling, what you had to drink with your lunch. They yearn for that behind-the-scenes access, that feeling of being part of your inner circle. Your clique, tribe, or “fam” as we used to say.

But as your following grows, maintaining that level of personal connection becomes increasingly impossible. You can't respond to every DM with a novel (even if you are Stephen King). You can't share every aspect of your life without sacrificing either your privacy or your sanity.

It's a balancing act, is what I’m saying. Trying to make your audience feel seen slash heard while still maintaining healthy boundaries? That’s a skill that most creators have to learn the hard way, through trial and error (and a whole lot of therapy).

I Don’t Wanna Ride this Rollercoaster Anymore, Mom

So, what does all this pressure do to a creator's mental state?

One minute, you're riding high on capital-V Validation. Your content resonated with people! They like you, they really like you! The dopamine is flowing. You feel at “max rizz.”

But then, the reality of your new situation sinks in….

The comments keep coming, and you can't keep up. The pressure to post new content is relentless. You realize you can’t keep up, and that you’re leaving scads of money on the table.

Your inbox is a minefield of requests, questions, and/or straight-up harassment.

Suddenly, the thing that brought you sheer delight — creating and sharing your stuff, your thoughts, your perspective — feels like a source of never-ending anxiety.

This emotional whiplash is an all-too-common experience for folks who go viral. In fact a study by Awin found that a full 71% of influencers have experienced burnout, with "maintaining a work-life balance" cited as the top challenge. 

Not shocking.

And it's not just the workload that takes a toll.

The sudden influx of attention, both positive and negative, can be face-smackingly awful. For every 100 supportive comments, there's one keyboard warrior waiting to tear you down. And let’s be honest, that one negative comment can and probably will drown out all the rest, echoing in your head long after you've closed down Instagram. (I still think of a guy who posted just the word “Derivative” on a post I made 9 years ago.)

It's a lot for anyone to handle, let alone someone who's just trying to share their content (or even their fat-feline art) with the world. But here's the thing: You're not alone. Every creator who's ever gone viral has felt this way. It's basically a rite of passage these days.

Solving for Dread

So, what does life look like post-virality?

How do you find your footing in this new world of constant demands on your time and energy and sanity?

Here are a few strategies that creators here at Manychat have found helpful:

1. Set realistic expectations

Be totally upfront with your audience about your availability and response times. Let them know that while you appreciate their support, you're only human and can't be on call 24/7. Hell, if you’re popular enough, make this your bio. (One of the bonuses we’ve noticed is that this also tends to lend to more respectful interactions in your comments — if you respect your time, others tend to follow suit.)

2. Batch responses

Keep a spreadsheet of your common responses and set aside dedicated time each day to respond to comments and messages, rather than trying to keep up in real-time. This helps you stay focused and avoid getting sucked into the notification whirlpool.

3. Automate comment responses with tools (yes, like Manychat)

Look, when you're dealing with a flood of comments and DMs, automation can be a lifesaver. Tools like Manychat allow you to set up pre-written responses to common questions or comments, so you can engage with your audience without getting overwhelmed. (It's also important to regularly review and update your bots to ensure they’re handing out accurate, helpful info — find the right balance between efficiency and authenticity, and your audience will thank you for it.)

4. Hire some help

As your following grows, consider bringing on a team member or virtual assistant to help manage your social media presence. Though these folks can get expensive, especially if you’re super-popular, even just a few hours a week can make a huge difference in your workload and mental health.

5. Prioritize your own damn well-being

Make time for self-care, whether that's exercise, meditation, therapy, or just a good old-fashioned Hulu binge. Remember, as my Meemaw said: You can't pour from an empty cup! Don't let the pressure to perform change who you are or what you create. Your authenticity is what got you here in the first place. Trust those instincts.

In the end here, going viral is a wild and unruly voyage, full of ups and downs and twists and turns and DMs you rather not have gotten, with pictures you wish you had never seen. But with the right mindset and support system, it can also be an incredible chance for growth. We mean, as a person. But also sure, as a brand.